Monday, May 30, 2011


I just got back from Vegas—more on that later—but because I took the Red Eye home last night, I justified finally buying one of these (mine says Las Vegas on the back. Swanky.):

I shamelessly took this self portrait in the walkway for a visual because I have no idea what to call it. And I don't think anyone else does either. It's the only justifiable reason for every American not owning one. That and they are only sold at airports and for a small fortune. Fortunately I bought mine at a shop called Everything $10 (I love a no-nonsense store), and was able to communicate via sign language what I was searching for. As it turns out, the universal sign for "I'm choking" and "I want to travel in comfort" are remarkably similar. And equally as effective. I walked out of the store ten dollars poorer, equipped with a no-hands pillow that's like wearing a bed at all times. My connecting flight was delayed twice, and our gate changed once. No problem!

Head tilt. 

I'm already asleep.

I got home an hour ago and I'm still wearing it. Little do you know, I've taken a nap three times in the duration of this post. I considered wearing it to bed tonight, but I feel wrong about that in the same way I feel wrong about mini hot dogs wrapped in bacon. So I'll just save it for travel and longish lines at the grocery store.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Hat Tip

Bethany is one of those friends who any time she opens her mouth, you can be certain some amount of gold is going to tumble out. I'm sharing the comment she left on my blog post below because it would be rude if I kept it from the world.

Bethany'sBazodi said...

My rape-dar is extra sensitive to the many would-be pervs out there too. always think the cart boy is following me to the car after a late night jaunt to the supermarket. Also, if it's dark outside, I drive over speed bumps really fast in order to scrape off any perverts that are holding on to the undercarriage of my car.

Thursday, May 19, 2011


I don't for one minute trust a man who stops to tie his shoe on an empty sidewalk. I'm looking at you, Brown Suit on my lunch break. I know you didn't end up attacking me, but we both know you thought about it.


Monday, May 16, 2011

Shin Splints Are for Life?

The herpes of exercise.

Why aren't there awkward, outdated PSAs, warning us to wear preventative tape while we run? Pardon me while my new life partner and I write our congressman a letter.